11 ways to Annoy Maximum Ride
by Ruetheday
Summary: Ever wondered what makes Max tick? Has she ever annoyed you? If so then this guide is right for you! Make her use some cheesy pick-up lines- to Jeb, and more! The title says it all! Now with the other members of the flock! :D R&R T to be safe.
1. Max

**How to annoy Maximum Ride- Part One (There may be more if you review!)**

Tell her Dylan and Fang are gay and dating each other.

Give her a hug whenever you see her and squeal "MAXI!" in your most girly voice.

Make her watch Twlight (No hate, she just isn't a Twilight person) then tell her you're a vampire and chase her while trying to suck her blood.

When she's in the shower replace her clothes with Nudge's and take her towel too.

Fall down while flying and tell everyone that she tripped you.

Put up her baby pictures throughout the house and coo over all of them.

Tell her that Maya is prettier than her.

Punch her in the face and then tell her that Angel was controlling your mind just then.

Talk to her really slowly and make sure to explain everything multiple times.

Give her cheesy pick-up lines and make her use them on Jeb. "I have Skittles in my mouth- wanna taste the rainbow?"

Or make Jeb use them on her. "Your mom was pretty good last night, so I figured you'd be good too,"

**So, should I continue? Review please! I don't own Maximum Ride!**

**Oh someone reviewed saying that this wasn't allowed in fanfic- so I added a little story part for number 7. I will be myself, Sophie. Also, if you haven't read "Fang" Don't read this part. If you have, you're good!**

"And her eyes! Her eyes are dazzling!" I say in awe.

"I totally agree," Nudge said dreamily.

"We're the same person! Why don't you guys ever say that about me?" Max shouts. Nudge and I have been at it for hours- naming all of the beautiful qualities Maya has. Max's short temper was almost gone.

"I just- just, LOVE her skin tone too!" I say. Max looks at my sympathetically.

"I wish I could look just like her," Nudge coos.

"I wish I was her clone!" That does it. Max snaps. Her face is red as she yells,

"I am her clone! I mean she's MY clone! We're exactly alike! What's the difference?"

"For one thing, she's nicer than you," I say, smirking at the furious Maximum Ride.

"Yeah, sorry Max," Nudge nods.

"WE ARE THE SAME!"

"Why did Fang choose Maya then? She's definitely prettier,"

"For deff man," Nudge tries to keep up with the new and trendy phrases.

"YOU KNOW SHE'S MY CLONE RIGHT? HOW CAN SHE BE PRETTIER?"

"Ask Fang," Nudge says smoothly.

"YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!" She screams.

"Whatever Max, I'm going to go visit Maya, I need a leader to guide me right now since you made me feel so terrible," I say glumly. Nudge and I get up.


	2. Fang

**11 ways to annoy Fang!**

Dress up like him for Halloween by putting ketchup all over yourself and wearing dark makeup.

Tell him that you know his secret. When he asks what it is cackle evilly and run away.

Put up motivational posters all over his room that say "Life is a gift- don't throw it away!"

Ask him if Max is pregnant. _If _he says no ask him again.

Whenever you see him sing "I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERBODY'S NERVES I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES- CHAPTER ONE!" Until he sings it with you.

Tell him he smells like butterflies.

When flying, or just on a regular basis squeeze his butt and squeal, "Aw! Little Fangy butt! It's so cute!"

Shave his head in his sleep, then glue his hair to his chin and/ or back

Have a poking fight with him.

Whenever Max talks interrupts her and shake your head saying "Fang disapproves,"

Fang pick-up line: "I lost my eyeliner, can I borrow yours?" he'd use that one on Max's mother. "I've got the razor and you've got the arms," Ahh, that'd be perfect for… fine! Max!

**Here is how I think Fang would react to one of these. Also do the **_**POLL **_**on my profile to vote for who to do for the next chapter:D This is for number three.**

I wipe my hands on my pants, I just finished covering every corner of Fang's room with motivational, heartwarming, positive posters- just what little Fang needs. I spot my favorite one and smile- "_Life is a gift- don't throw it away!" _it's as if it was made for Fang. I sigh gleefully as Fang enters his room. I run and hide under his bed. I can almost feel his eyes go wide and the smile on his face- instead I hear an unhappy sigh as he plops down on his bed, squishing me.

"ARGGHH!" I yell. Fang jumps up,

"Max? Are you under there?" he asks hopefully.

"No, but I'm the next best thing!" I chime gleefully.

"Oh, great," I can hear the obvious sadness in his voice.

I get out from under his bed and smile.

"Do you like the posters?"

"Uh…" he says indifferently.

"Come on little Fangy- you love it!" he cringes when I say "Fangy."

"No, I don't."

"Aw! Fangy's just doing that thing when he hides all of his emotions! How cuuuute!" I coo over him.

**All right, that's it! Hope you all like!**


	3. Nudge

**Eleven Ways to Annoy Nudge! Uh! I had most of this typed up along with Angel's and Iggy's, but my stupid laptop shut down!D: That's ok though, I can start over!**

1 Say "Ermahgurd! No way!" After anything she says.

2 Tell her that the "new trend" is to wear a blindfold over her eyes. Laugh hysterically as she bumps into everything

3 Poke her and walk away. Tell her it was Maya.

4 Put red lipstick all over her eyes and eye shadow all over her mouth while she's sleeping.

5 Whenever Angel talks to her yell, "b**** fight!"

6 Try to dress exactly like her.

7 Cut off all her hair in her sleep.

8 Be her body guard. Don't let anyone talk to her or approach her.

9 When she asks to buy makeup give her Fang's instead.

10 Dye all of her clothes throw-up-orange.

11 A pick-up line to use one Nudge: "Ermahgurd, I love your dress! Can I talk you out of it?"

**Sorry, this sucked terribly and I haven't updated in like forever… so yeah, sorry. Now I shall make a short story on number 8!**

"Hey Nu-" Gazzy starts.

"NUDGE MUST NOT BE SPOKEN TO! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!" I shriek, shoving Gazzy far away from us. When only Nudge can hear me I say in a singsong voice, "and she's a big babyyyy,"

**Okay, I must go, I know- this was terrible, but I must ask you to forgive me!**


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